That's a highly interesting post. And I admire your clear view on your own goals and relationships.
I think I partly know what you mean. I'm more of a philosopher than some other people, too, thinking about the world, other people, myself a lot, trying to get to know the reasons and motives and so on. At some point, I realized that I am way more comfortable with people I can look up to and learn from. But I think that's normal. It's our nature to learn, so we search for people who have achieved something that we're still trying to reach.